Life lately

What do I write here?? This is my second blog on this thing, and I only write on it when I feel I have something to talk about... I do not want to say something that you have heard before, but I feel like I must say it. Things change so fast in my life. I feel like days go by and I dont appreciate them enough, like I'm just living for tomorrow and not today. I know I should appreciate things more and enjoy every minute I have but I find it difficult. My best friend recently passed away. She was the best person I could have picked to be my best friend, but of course she was someone I didn't appreciate like I should have. I was recently talking to my mother about the my friends suicide, and the whole time we were talking all I could think about were the last conversations I had with Sarah. They weren't the best conversation, in fact they sucked. I wish so desperately that I could go back and change them, that I could have one last conversation with her and tell her how much I appreciated her, but I can't. I can never go back and have that conversation. I will never truely have closer because of the way I treated her in her final months. I was not a friend to her, or at least I was not the best friend I could have been. She deserved much better than I gave her. I know writing this won't change things, and I know it won't let me go back or have any more closer in this situation. I just hope writing this will help me appreciate things and people in my life more. You really aren't guaranteed tomorrow, and I don't mean that you aren't guaranteed life tomorrow I mean you aren't guaranteed another chance to tell someone how much they truely mean to you. You really should tell people how wonderful they are and how happy they make you even if it isn't true all the time. People deserve to feel wanted and loved. Isn't that what life is about? Making people happy instead of miserable? Making people feel wanted? Being sad is miserable. Having people talk badly about you is miserable. Hearing people you are close to constantly talking about others negatively is miserable, and it's just plain exhausting. If I have only learned one things from this experience it's knowing who to let into my life, and treating them with respect.

There.....I'll get off my soap box now.

Abby